Loving Intentionally

Since the beginning of the year I’ve been working on loving people better, more like God would want, telling them what they’ve done to bless me, what they mean to me, and how they have changed or contributed to my life or happiness. Sometimes it’s sending notes, other times it’s a FB post or private message, and sometimes it’s in person, if I have the opportunity. What has most amazed me on this adventure to love people better is how much people don’t realize the positive effect they can have on your life. The responses to loving people more, or even telling people I love them, have been priceless. For some, they do not even remember the kindness that prompted my mention. For others they are amazed that the little thing they did meant so much. For some they respond as if they don’t deserve the genuine appreciation given and brush it off, and some are delighted that God used them to bless my life. This isn’t about me. It’s all about others and the observations I have made. I’m just sharing my adventures in living/loving more intentionally. Doing this has made me understand on a greater level how starved people are to hear something good or encouraging in their day. It seems people are prone to look for and point out the worst in everyone, even at home. Most often we do not even think to tell the people in our lives how much they mean to us. We just assume they already know. I assure you most do not. 

The second discovery I’ve made on this journey is that the general population -our neighbors- the one’s God’s word instructs us to love as we love ourselves, expect the worst and seem accustomed to receiving it. Such as the poor young girl working at our local fast food and ice cream shop the other night. A disgruntled patron, upset because she called to place an order and was put hold, hung up and drove to the store to cruelly chew out the young girl working hard at the front counter all by herself. The place was hopping and this girl had her hands full. Alex and I sat watching her. She’s a good worker and she patiently and kindly endured the abuse this patron was dishing at her. If I was in any kind of physical shape I would have picked the yelling woman up, tossed her over my shoulder, and promptly removed her from the premises. (I know, I know that’s not very lady like of me.) This woman’s upset and abuse was uncalled for. I was having a hard time loving her at all for a moment. Perhaps, there were extenuating circumstances....perhaps. Before Alex and I left I told the young girl that I thought she as doing a fantastic job running the counter all by herself....of course the yelling lady was still standing right there waiting for her food. I made sure she heard. This was the amazing part..or maybe sad part. The girl looked more surprised at hearing something good from us, than she did when the disgruntled woman was verbally maligning her and her ability as an employee in front of the entire busy establishment. Really, how hard is it to put aside our own selfish entitlement, our insatiable desire to have our chicken dinner now, over the well being of another person? When did mistreating people so thoughtlessly come into fashion? I don’t find it fashionable at all. It’s time for us to change the trend. It’s time to bring kind, respectful treatment of our neighbors and loved ones back into vogue. It is time as Christians to truly demonstrate to the world what loving your neighbor really looks like. I am glad God has placed this desire in my heart to love people more intentionally. It has not only been enlightening but also life changing for me, and I hope for the other people God has blessed me with in my life. It is my hope that maybe you too will want to join in this adventure with me. It is a journey worth taking for all. 

Only God Knows

I'm not the same.

It all started about a month before I even had the faintest inkling of what God was up to.

God had Matthew our district church camp director send me a Facebook message. He wanted to know if I would be interested in teaching a seminar at camp in a little under 3 weeks. He had an open spot and wondered if I would be willing to fill it. The topic- Church Outside the Box. We do that at the church where I am on staff. It just happened this is a topic I am very passionate about. I've seen what God can do when we are ministering outside the church building (aka:box).

Truth- I didn't want to. I was tired. It had been a crazy, hairy, high stress year launching a new  off site ministry and I had determined months earlier that this year I was going to camp and I was going to do nothing or at least the very minimum I could possibly do. I was going to rest and enjoy myself.

So, of course I said yes. To this day I have no idea why I said yes in that moment. Honestly, I was even kind of miffed with myself afterward that I said yes and wondered if it were too late to change my mind.

Fast Forward 20 Days

She walked into the seminar room that day. To be completely honest I do not remember seeing her come in. I do not even remember making eye contact with her at anytime during the seminar.  Actually, I was a little too caught up in myself that day to really notice. You see, the night before I had gotten sick. I had been up most of the night with horrible stomach pain and vomiting, completely out of the blue. I was fine all day the day before. I went to bed. I woke up sick as a dog sometime around midnight. I finally was able to fall asleep around 4:30 and was back up at 7:00. I lay in bed that morning thinking to myself how much I wanted to cancel my seminar. I just wanted to stay in bed. My head hurt from lack of sleep, my stomach still hurt, and I could barely keep my eyes open. I had good reason to cancel, but somehow managed to convinced myself I shouldn't. Pastors don't cancel. They just work through it and that is what I was going to do. I was going to go, teach the seminar, and then promptly return to my bed. That was it. I only had to get through the seminar. I could do it through Christ who strengthens me. Right? Right!

The seminar went great. I had some wonderful co-speakers who shared the importance of making sure your church wasn't just having church in the church. I got to share my passion for reaching the lost by doing "Church Outside the Box", and the impact it can have on a community.

When the seminar came to a close. I was getting ready to go as fast as I could. I just wanted to be in my bed sleeping off the stupor of sickness from the night before..... and she walked up to the front of the room. I still can see her face. I didn't know her and I immediately assumed she was someone from one of the district churches coming to get more information because she too was passionate about community outreach and evangelism.

She wasn't.

She started telling me her story. She had recently gotten out of rehabilitation after nearly dying. She had struggled with alcohol almost her entire life. The doctors told her she had to stop or she would die. She had decided to turn to Christ. She knew he was the only one who could save her. As she continued her story, I felt the nudge. You know the one. I like to refer to it as The Holy Nudge.

Truth- Let's be real for a moment. I really wasn't in the mood for The Holy Nudge that day. I felt like garbage. I wanted to go back to bed and hide from the world.

*I am not proud to share the above. I am heartily ashamed.

Amazing Act of God - I actually obeyed the nudge after a brief conversation in my head trying to come up with reasons to delay the nudge or find a way be nudged at a different time, when I felt better.

Fact - God's nudges are not scheduled for your convenience. You probably know that. This is just a friendly reminder.

I asked her to come with me to a quieter corner of the classroom as everyone was still milling around and chatting. We found two seats in the corner and she continued to share her story. She told me that since she had come out of the nursing home where she was rehabilitating her strength after nearly dying, she had been reading her Bible and praying, but felt like something was missing. She knew she needed God but something wasn't right.

You know where this is going.

Side Bar - Not for one moment did I ever think I was going meet up with someone who needed to pray and ask Jesus into their life at a Christian college, district church camp full of pastors, pastor's spouses, pastor's kids, and people who faithfully attended church. I've been attending for 13 plus years. It just doesn't happen, unless maybe it's a child  new to the faith in children's ministry.

*Never, never, never discount your location as a place where someone does not need Christ. I know that. Why was I so surprised?

So in the corner we held each other's hands and prayed together as she gave her life to Christ. The whole room was chattering all around us, but we were at peace with God, just the three of us. It was a beautiful moment. I will remember it always.

When we had finished we got up from our seats and I hugged her. We talked briefly about next steps, reading her Bible and declaring her faith by getting baptized. Before she walked out of the room she turned and looked at me and said. "I knew I was supposed to talk to you. I just knew God wanted me to talk to you."

I stood there in silent disbelief at what had just happened. What in the world? Thank you God! But what in the world? That certainly wasn't even remotely on my radar screen that morning. Sadly, I was the only thing on my radar screen that morning.

Oh yeah, I was sick. But you know what? Somehow that didn't matter anymore.

More importantly I was humbled.

As I left the building I ran into Matthew (camp director) and told him about what had just transpired. He proceeded to share with me that she had just called him that morning and asked if there was still room available at the camp. She wanted to attend. She only arrived that morning and ended up in my seminar. Why she would want to attend a seminar on "Church Outside the Box" is beyond me, but it was not beyond God.

I saw her a couple of times during the rest of the week of camp. I was able to get her in contact with a woman who attends our church who lived in the same town. She runs a youth center right around the corner from this woman's apartment. Perfect! It was so wonderful to see my new sister in Christ at the worship services, worshiping her God. She was so happy. She knew she had found what she was missing.

Closing day of camp our District Superintendent came up to me. He knew I was going to be driving through a certain town on my way home and wanted to know if I would give a certain woman and her daughter a ride home. As he was talking to me I put two and two together and thought to myself,  "I didn't know she didn't have a car. How did she even get to camp?"  I told him, "I know her." Once again our paths were aligned. I gave them a ride home. We had wonderful conversation. I enjoyed our time together. I gave her my cell phone number and told her to call if she needed anything. We made arrangements for her and her daughter to get a ride to church every Sunday.

In the following weeks my friend would faithfully attend church on Sunday and faithfully called me every Friday evening around 5:00 and we would chat for an hour or so. I think Friday at 5:00 was a rough time and day for her. She was still battling her addiction here and there and she needed to talk. During those conversations I came to discover she was a very intelligent, loving, thoughtful woman. She would tell me about how she would listen to the Christian radio station and sing along with the songs. She would tell me how she kept messing up and having to start all over again in her addiction battle. She wanted to find a way to start an alcohol recovery program where she was. There wasn't a good one in her town and she needed a good one. We found some connections to start one and a possible ride to one in a neighboring town. In the mean time she would go walking around town and tell everyone about her new found relationship with Christ. She wanted the world to know.

We met after church one Sunday to discuss baptism and make sure she was ready to take that step. She was so excited.  She decided to do the courageous thing and get baptized in our local lake during our second annual lake baptism service.  This was courageous, after all she had been through in recent months. I even tried to dissuade her into using the indoor baptismal at the church, but she insisted she wanted to do it "outdoors in front of God". She could not wait to make her public proclamation.

The day arrived. I made arrangements to pick her up at her home and bring her and her daughter to the lake. She was one of nine people getting baptized that day. She shared with the crowd gathered at the lakeside her love of Christ and her excitement. She was like a child before her Daddy. It truly was a beautiful day.

Diane 

Little did we know that day that our time with her was limited. A couple of weeks later in the early morning hours I had a dream. In the dream I was running down a road and suddenly Diane was running behind me. I remember thinking in my dream  "How did she get here? I don't think she can run." This was an odd dream for me. Generally, I either dream dreams of people I am very close to or I just don't remember my dreams. I can still see this dream in my mind.  Shortly after I woke up I got a message from my friend who lives in her town telling me that Diane was in the hospital. I prayed, got dressed, and went to the hospital to see her. She was in the ICU, on a ventilator. Her liver and her kidneys were giving out. She proceeded to worsen over the next 14 days. I would go in and sit with her and talk to her when no one was there. I hoped and prayed God would allow her to hear me. I prayed God would give her one more chance to live and be healed and continue to share his love with others.

Finally, after many days and many prayers and petitions made on her behalf it was determined by her family, that she would be placed on comfort care. Everything that could be done for her had been done. All life support was removed. We circled her bed, joined hands and prayed as she made her way into her Saviors arms.

It is in these moments that God seems to bring things into perfect clarity...what's most important in life and what isn't. He makes clear our foolish upsets, our misplaced attentions, our frivolous concerns, our selfishness. It made me wonder as I watched her family say "good bye for now" if  God would be pleased with how I have loved the people he has placed in my life. I'm not just talking about my family members, but everyone he places in my life, the people I like and the people I sometimes do not like.

Did I love Diane enough?

That night when Diane's long last day on this earth was finally over I climbed into my bed and the realization of how different this day could have been for Diane hit me full force. The tears flowed hard and fast. I almost couldn't breathe as I prayed.

"Dear God, This could have ended so differently today. You know how close it came to ending differently. God you know I am not always good at hearing or heeding your nudges. Sometimes I am so selfish. You know how selfishly I wanted to spend my week of camp. I didn't want to teach that seminar. God you know I wanted to cancel the seminar when I was sick. You know I wanted to leave as soon as it was over and tend only to my selfish needs. I certainly wasn't on my death bed for sure. I just didn't feel good. God you know the struggle I had in my heart and yes only through some miracle of yours I heard you and did what you wanted, but God it almost didn't happen! You know that! I know that! Oh God! How many of these moments have I missed? How many Diane's did you need me to minister to and I didn't see or I didn't hear because I was caught up in myself, my petty concerns, my plans? God I narrowly did what you wanted me to do this time, but how many times have I missed what you wanted me to do? Oh God, will I ever get it right without the internal struggle first? God help me hear you and respond in obedience without hesitation. I don't ever want it to be a close call like this again!"

Now, I fully realize that if God wanted Diane in heaven there is nothing that would have stopped him and nothing did, not even flawed me.  He is after all, all powerful. But the "what if" of this situation truly terrified me as I briefly imagined the alternative that could have been Diane's. It reminded me what is truly important. It re-energized me  to be more diligent as I go about the dailiness of my life and to really look at people and really hear them no matter my plans, no matter my location.

Please know I am not sharing this story to glean any outpouring of support or sympathy for me. Please do not respond with such. I do not deserve any such thing. Yes, I did the right thing, but I know that it truly was only through the sovereign grace of God that Diane's salvation was secured, not me. Not me. The truth is pastor or not we all struggle with this very thing. Do we hear the still small voice at all? Do we hear the still small voice and heed it? Do we feel The Holy Nudge and obey it? Every time?

Let's face the facts. God may have used me to minister to Diane, however reluctant I was that day, but honestly God used Diane to minister to me.

I'm not sure who I need to attribute this original quote to but it has been something I have been pondering the last few days.

"The Christian life is lived in forward, but understood in reverse."

Looking back I clearly see what God was up to, and so do you.

I will not be the same.

Thank you God. Amen

So Much More Than Just Sunday

Tonight while enjoying a cup of coffee with a dear friend I felt a great burden of prayer come over me. This happens occasionally, where God overwhelms me with great compassion for a friend or loved one. Often, I don't know the reason I have been called to pray. It just happens and my response is to be obedient and pray. Tonight the call wasn't a call to pray for the friend I was with, but for my boss. My friend was sharing with me some tough decisions and conversations she had to have with my boss this week, regarding her ministry at the church. She is a very gifted person who is working to find the best place to minister within her giftings. That can be a difficult thing to figure out when you are good at a lot of things. I know that my boss would want her ministering in the areas that fit her best, and he of course encouraged her in that as he does for everyone on staff or volunteer. It may put a wrench in what he is doing or how he is leading, but he isn't about what is convenient for him. He is about what is best for God's kingdom. As she was sharing I suddenly had a flashback to this past week in the office.

Let me back up for a moment. I've never been naive enough to think for one moment that the job of a pastor is just on Sunday. Obviously shepherding a flock is an all week job. Granted some weeks are easier than others, but it is full time, especially in a growing church. This week was no exception. I am a staff pastor at our church. The office building is small. Being in such a small building you usually can't miss what is going on, even if you want to. Our senior pastor had quite a week. I started it out Sunday after a very long day of wonderful, but exhausting ministry. In the last two weeks we had thirteen baptisms. We just celebrated our one year anniversary of having two Sunday morning worship services.  It was a busy day. At the end of the day I kind of gave him a hard time about something he said, that I didn't like. That happens quite a bit when you are a pastor, people not always liking what you say. However, I'm generally not the one lodging the complaints. I tend to camp more on the receiving side, but I didn't this time. You know you have a good boss when you can openly share something that hurts you or you don't like and he doesn't get defensive. He walked in Monday morning and talked with me to work it out. I truly appreciate that about him. He didn't placate me. He truly wanted to make the situation better. That alone made things better. Aside from me and my grumblings, his week has been crazy. I'm not really sure how many hours he has put in. Ministry isn't really ever a 9-5 job. I know some of the hours this week have been a sacrifice of personal and family time. I am always amazed no matter how many people he sees in a day he greets each one as if they were the first. I've never known anyone who so selflessly builds into the lives of others as he does. There were at least four of those meetings this week, that I knew of.  I know for a fact he walked into and skillfully dealt with some sticky situations in the last few days. As wonderful as church is it can be sticky sometimes. He didn't avoid the messes. He walked right into them and addressed each one thoughtfully and carefully, with the love of Christ. In the midst of all of this I see him doing his best to be the husband he needs to be to his wife and love Ashley, who is so patient and giving herself, as she helps him and encourages him in his ministry, even when at times it is a sacrifice for her. As my friend I've never once heard her complain about the sacrifices she and their children make as he does what God has called him to do. As a father he is invested fully in the lives of his four children, attending parent teacher conferences, and every play, concert, or recital. He's right there front and center with Ashley. He somehow by the grace of God fits it all in. It just seemed this week he went from person to person, situation to situation, meeting to meeting without break, ministering to the best of his ability in God's strength. It had to be God's strength. That is the only way I can explain it. We've seen his heart for God at North Park and how he works tirelessly sharing God's love.

But...the overwhelming call to prayer was undeniable tonight as I reflected on this week. I came home from having coffee and set out immediately to praying as God so clearly burdened me to do. I have always prayed for him, Ashley, and the kids, as we always should pray for our pastors, but now it seems as the church is growing and the responsibilities are growing that our prayer needs to be growing as well.  Our church is blessed with a wonderful pastor and family. He and they need our ongoing encouragement and prayer support. You see....his job isn't just on Sunday. It's everyday.

Priority One - God.....Starving at a Banquet

It never ceases to amaze me how busy we can get working for God ,yet not have time to spend with him.  That has been the case for the past several weeks for me.   I have spent time preparing lessons, writing a wedding ceremony, counseling and praying with hurting people, preparing devotionals, participating in VBS and District Camp, doing sermon prep, and even reading some wonderful works by learned Christian authors. However,  I found myself running on empty. The time I was spending with God, was for God's kingdom. It wasn't time for just us. It was me and Him, and the children I would be teaching, and those I was sharing the devotional with, the hurting people who ask for prayer, and the beloved congregation I will be sharing with the next few weeks. Sure, I've spent plenty of time with him recently, but not time alone with him. I've had my Bible open every day, but it wasn't open for the specific purpose of filling me up.  It was used to fill others up. Now I fully realize that what I am doing for God's kingdom is of great value, but the truth is I cannot give him my best if I am not taking care of myself both physically and spiritually. I want to be able to give my best. I have discovered over the past few years how easy it is for a pastor to spend tons of time in the word and in prayer, but still not be fed. It is true. It can happen. I equate this with being at a banquet where there is every food imaginable, but not being able to find anything to eat! There is no shortage of food. I have only to fill my plate. The same goes with God. I need only fill my plate. If my plate/life is empty it is because I have failed to fill it with what I need or I have been filling it on fast food....short stops to grab a snack to go. I may even find myself filling up, but not on what I need, but what my ministry needs. I need to have a well balanced plate.
(Right about now you are probably wondering what kind of pastor am I to admit such a thing. All I can say is truthful. It's the honest truth. This can happen to pastors. It can happen to anyone who daily gives of his/her life to the Lord. It is a fine line to walk being with God and truly being with God.)
Naturally, there are seasons in life that are busier than others and there are times in the life of a pastor when ministry doesn't happen in nice, neat scheduled boxes. For me time alone with God is a scheduled priority, but that doesn't stop the unexpected early morning phone call from someone in need, that leaks into your time alone with God, then makes you late arriving in the office. Life happens and for the laborer in Christ. Life is ministry.
With all of that being said we need to constantly remind ourselves of the importance of being with God. We should not be in a hurry with God, but taking time to truly bask in his presence. You don't even have to say anything.....just be. Take a breather, be a human being, not a human doing. It's okay to just be before your God. Ask him to fill you with his peace, love and wisdom. Fill your heart and mind with his Holy word. Sing a song of praise to him. Write him a letter or poem in your journal. Ponder the many blessings he has given you in your life. Take your time. Connect with your Creator. He misses you. He loves you. He hasn't gone anywhere. He's waiting for you.

Mark 1:35
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went to a solitary place, where he prayed.

Follow his example. Make that time for just you and your Heavenly Father.
It makes all the difference! There is no need to starve at the banquet of God's love!

The Power of Words in Social Media

In the past few weeks God has been impressing on me over and over again the power of words. To be completely honest the impressing has been showing up within the confines of the office counselling session to the pages of social media. No matter the setting I find my heart breaking over and over again. I see so many of my dear friends, loved ones and church members suffering the agony of hurtful words, either intentional or unintentional.  How easily we forget the power of words.

God takes words seriously.  His word tell us countless times over of the power of words both carelessly spoken and aptly spoken.

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.
Matthew 15:18

Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.
Proverbs 11:12

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. 
Colossians 4:6

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

Please keep in mind that I do not write these words as an act of condemnation toward anyone. How many times have I forgotten the power of words in my daily journeys? Too many to count, I'm sorry to say. I am not using this blog as an opportunity to give anyone a smack down. It is more of a reminder of what God has been reminding me of, through the people I have been ministering to over the past few weeks.

Let him without sin cast the first stone......I will be stepping to the back of that line.

Close your eyes for a moment and think of a time in your life when someone said something to you that filled your emotional sails with joy and in turn set you on a wonderful voyage. You can remember that person. You can remember that time. It may not have been anything that would be considered earth shattering or awesome to someone else, but the words were apples of gold in a setting of silver to your heart and mind. They were words aptly spoken that made you feel loved, accomplished, valued, important......you know how those words made you feel.

Now, think of a time in your life when someone said something cruel and heartless to you, either intentionally or even unintentionally. You remember those words, they seared an unforgettable burden of pain into your heart and mind. They brought forth not only accusation, but also the guilt and shame you were carrying at the time. Those words made you feel worthless, unlovable, unimportant.....you know how those words made you feel.

In both instances the words had power.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Proverbs 18:21



Death and life are in the power of the tongue. We've all experienced it, both on the giving and receiving ends. We do not regularly recognize the power of our tongues to do good, by speaking good words, but we do fully realize the power and capability of our tongues to rip into someone and tear them to shreds. It seems that has become much easier with the induction of social media. How easy it is to sit behind a computer screen and annihilate another individual. They cannot defend themselves. You don't have to hear their side of the story. (Remember there are always two sides.). You don't have to see their eyes rolling. You don't have to yell over them yelling at you. You don't have to carry the guilt from seeing the pain of your words instantly register on the face of another human being. To me it seems a form of cowardice. If it isn't something you are willing to say to another person's face then perhaps it is something that shouldn't be said at all.

My all time favorite of course (not really) is the post or tweet that indicates a wrong done, but does not name the guilty party. (Pause: I am very sorry to say that on occasion I have been guilty of this one.....recently too. I'm not proud of this admission at all. Hind sight has always made me realize that if I have something to say to someone who has hurt me I need to do it face to face. Matthew 18:15). However, the guilty party inevitably will be able to figure out if it is him/her. They generally know the intimate details of the situation enough to garner the 'set down' they are receiving in the public forum. 

Let me pose this question  Do you think that God judges differently words conveyed to another via text, tweet or status vs. those spoken in person, on the phone or voice mail?

I think it is safe to conclude that the words we type, tweet, or text still fall under the same realm of holy judgment as those we speak.

Matthew 12:27 says, For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.

It doesn't say whether those words are spoken or typewritten. I think it is safe to assume they all count. It doesn't matter if they are on a bathroom wall, a boxcar, a subway train, the underpass of a bridge or Twitter. In God's eyes they count.

God's word is shared in the timeless medium of the page. Does it really matter if the page is a tablet of stone, a piece of paper or an electronic screen- His words or ours?

Moreover, as Christians we are held to a higher calling and expectation in both our words and behavior. Your demonstration of Christ's love whether in person or via social media is visible to the world. Can the people you live life with and share life with on social media see the evidence of Christ in you?

Today, I share with you a few rules and regulations I follow to the best of my ability when sharing my life on social media. I have shared them with my children, I have shared them with my friends, I have shared them in the counseling office. This is not a definitive list. This is my list. You may need to lay down a different set of rules for yourself, but you get the idea. Decide in advance how you are going to behave on social media and stick with it. God's kingdom depends on it.

1. Follow Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

2. Consider your audience.  Who are you friends with, following, etc? Is something you are planning on posting a word of encouragement or discouragement? Will it build the person up or tear them down? Recently, I had two very dear friends encounter a very difficult social media situation. One shared a post she felt was very important. However, the same post caused great pain to another friend who thought it was posted as an intentional dig. It wasn't, but none the less it ended up being a most painful situation for both of my friends. In no way was the original post an intentional slight, but I could see how it could be mistaken as such, and in hindsight so could my friend who shared the post. She was heartbroken that she hurt her friend.  It wasn't intentional, but we all learned from that situation how important it is to consider your audience.- I know. I know.  Just stick with me on this one. I'm sure some are thinking, "If they can't handle it then they shouldn't be on social media."  I can most assuredly say that is the wrong attitude and perhaps you need to rethink your motives. Remember the whole love your neighbor as yourself thing? The internet has broadened our scope of neighbors. How do you want your neighbor on social media to love you? Love them the same.

3. If you plan on posting something controversial, be prepared to face the consequences, take the heat, get a smack down, eat crow, be humiliated, proven wrong, feel foolish, get chewed out, etc. Then when it happens be prepared to respond with the love of Christ. You asked for it. You got it. Now you'll have to deal with it. Are you responding as Jesus would want you to? Is your response God honoring?

4. If you aren't sure you should post it, then you better not do it. As a Christian I try and make every effort to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Let's get real here for a moment. You know when the words are typed in the little box and the cursor is blinking at you and you are just sitting there deciding whether or not to hit the post button, and you sense a little niggling in the back of your mind or an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach, then perhaps you should reconsider hitting the post button. I'm positive most of us know that feeling. Chances are if you feel this way, it is a clear indicator that whatever you are considering posting is not edifying. Now would be a good time to refer back to number 1. Follow Ephesians 4:29. 

Again, let me reiterate that this post is not a set down for anyone. It is a reminder to all of us that our witness transcends to the electronic pages in our lives as well. Every facet of our Christian thought, deed and word should reflect the love and compassion of our Lord and Savior. Those who are yet to be found are counting on us, even if they don't realize it. Let's show them who Jesus really is on social media by how we love each other.


But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. James 1:22-27

Putting You Where He Wants You

This past Monday I returned from a children's ministry conference in Columbus, Ohio. The first thing I need to confess is that I didn't really want to go to said conference. I know, I know. It's an opportunity to learn more about what I am doing. I know how important this is. I signed up for it, after all. I knew I needed it. I was feeling very weary in my ministry, just as the year was kicking off. That is not a good time to feel weary and worn down.

There was so much going on at home. I really didn't feel good about leaving. I just put my youngest son Alex in public school after being privately educated and homeschooled most of his life. My daughter Annie just started a new job as a barista at a nearby hospital coffee shop, and my son Ryan, who daily battles the difficulties of Asperger's Syndrome started a new job working in the local high school cafeteria. Everyone was in the middle of big changes and adjustments. It didn't feel right to bail on them just now. Church was another story. Not a bad story, mind you, just a little chaotic right now. I just finished meeting with three groups of wonderful, dedicated volunteers, sharing with them the new child safety policy. I still haven't caught all of my volunteers yet. So a fourth meeting is on the way.  We added a new children's ministry wall in our fellowship hall. The wall was designed to provide a more child friendly children's area. There really isn't a children's ministry area in our church. One of my children's pastor friends suggested we ask for a wall since we don't have a room. We now have an awesome wall and a quarter, thanks to some of those amazing and talented volunteer children's ministry workers! We finished our BIG EVENT Fab Friday kick off the previous week- complete with monster mud trucks. In the middle of this I am working with my district children's ministry team to bring in FX (kind of like the Christian version of Nicolodeon, with slime and big props) to Western New York. I've never done anything like this before, so it is a bit daunting to say the least. To that we add the regular responsibilities of being a pastor, weekly children's ministry, counseling, and prepping for the upcoming months. I can see clearly now why I was weary. I needed to get away. I needed to refocus. I needed what I didn't want to do.

Have you ever noticed how God has a way of putting you right where he wants you when he wants you there? Yeah, he does that. As much as I knew I didn't want to go to the conference and the countless reasons I could have chosen to bail, God impressed on me clearly that I needed to be there.

So I went.  I took Jennifer with me. As you know from my previous post about Jennifer that everything is more of an adventure with Jennifer. And it was!

Jennifer @ the conference. Jennifer loves the @ sign. It seems to keep her grounded so she knows where she is @. You can imagine how happy she was to find a whole wall of @ signs! I'm thinking we need to do this in her house!



Now I won't bore you with all of the details you aren't interested in, but I will tell you how powerful God can press down on you when he wants you be somewhere. This conference was a huge conference. There were about a zillion classes and tracks you can choose from. (Well, maybe not a zillion, but it sure felt like it.) Name just about any topic from nursery to pre-teen and you will find something you need. So I chose a workshop with a speaker I am familiar with, I'd been to her workshops before. She was fun. She was engaging. The topic was fun and I was feeling tired. I knew I would need something to keep me awake. I went to her workshop about 15 minutes early and found a prime seat right up front. I like being upfront. I pay better attention and I'm less likely to doze. As I was getting myself situated I felt a very powerful "nudge" from the Holy Spirit. I wasn't supposed to be there in that workshop. There was no denying the nudge. It was powerful. So I got up and walked out of the room. This was probably one of the first times I've ever immediately acted on a leading from God without a "Why?". My only question was, "Where?". Remember there were a zillion classes to chose from. I had no clue where he wanted me. I made my way out of the door and down the hall, as I was walking along a class that had briefly caught my attention a week earlier when I was looking through the program was right in front of me. It was a full track leadership workshop.  Full track meaning that once you start you are in it for the long haul. I've done leadership in school, in pastors meetings, at the nearby Christian college. I just finished reading a book on leadership. I really didn't feel that was something that I really needed at this point, but my feet kept on going that way and into the room I went. Again I found prime seating upfront so that I would stay engaged and maybe learn something, even though I was sure I'd had enough leadership training to last me quite a while. Despite the topic I had a peace about me. I somehow knew I was in the place that God wanted me to be.

The workshop was AWESOME! It was just what I needed. I was engrossed from the first moment and when the first two hours were up I was so sorry to see it end. I couldn't wait to come back after lunch for another two hours of this stuff! I couldn't wait for the conference to start the next day so I could continue learning more in this class.

Steve Adams, Alex's Lego guys, and me. 
Steve is the children's pastor for all of the Saddleback Church's Children's Ministries. He's all over the place!
And I thought I was weary.....ppppfffffttttt!





In the midst of this I came to realize how poor my attitude had been. I was inwardly ashamed of myself. I had forgotten how blessed I am on so many levels to be able to do the ministry I do. I get to work in a great church, with a fantastic boss. (That was something else I learned while I was there. I work with a great senior pastor!) The ministry is growing and flourishing. God is making it fruitful.


Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Galatians 6:9

We all become weary from time to time. It is part of the human condition. When we get weary, our attitudes tend to slip. My attitude toward this blessing in the form of a children's ministry conference was lousy.  It's okay to get tired once in a while. However, when you start feeling  your batteries depleting take it seriously. One of the topics in this conference was about making sure your batteries get charged regularly. For me recharging is going to be making sure I take time out every year to attend a conference. It's going to be keeping in contact with the other awesome children's pastors I am privileged to work with in my district. It means a DAWG- Day Alone With God! Just so I can be quiet and hear from him.

God has blessed each of us in so many ways. Daily we have his word speaking to our hearts and minds. He provides us with church families, and friends who can help us when we are down. We have learning opportunities in the form of classes, conference, or just daily life. It is up to us to take advantage of these blessings in our lives so that we will not become weary in doing good.

So now I am back! My batteries are recharged and I ready to take on whatever the kids have for me this year! God is good. He is there! I get to keep on keeping on toward the harvest and I'm excited about it!!

Been Way Tooooo Long

I'm back! Finally. It has been a hectic few months. We started out the New Year with sick kids. Our yearly winter vacation consisted of two sick kids, one sick aunt and one healthy guest. (The nieces and brother were all good. They were sick before we got there.) After weeks of recovery, Alex got sick....again-pneumonia. Then my wonderful, awesome niece Matty had emergency surgery for an ovarian cyst. Then my husband was admitted to the hospital for bilateral pneumonia. Then my darling baby girl and I contracted a nasty bronchitis that seemed to last forever. Then my "NICE" goddaughter Brianna was admitted to Children's in Buffalo for a rather serious infection.  However, the good news is, as of today, every one is home and all seem to be in good health. I hope I don't prove myself wrong before the day is over. Annie was looking a little peeked after church today.

So, as for any life changing deep thoughts; I haven't had any time to have any, unless of course you ask Ashley about tissues and decongestants. Or you can ask Jennifer about repainting her shed. That pretty much sums up the depth of my thought processes over the past few months. I feel like I have only been getting by.

I can say that I know the source of the strength that was getting me by. It was the same strength I saw when my kids endured one of the most awful vacations of all time, while vomiting for 16 hours in the car. I saw that strength when my dear, Matty and her parents had to face serious emergency surgery in the middle of the night. It was the same strength I saw exhibited in my husband as he admitted outpatient defeat and was sent to the hospital for treatment for a week. I don't know how he could stand the steroids he had to take! He did though, without complaint. And again I witnessed it this week as my dear friend Barb, took her baby girl to the emergency room for tests and ended up with an ambulance ride to Children's Hospital, in the middle of the night, so far from home. I have to say this, and I don't mean this in a condescending manner in any way, but I am so proud of Barb. I saw her take huge steps in her faith this past week and it gave me joy, despite the sadness, to see her choose to lean fully on her Savior during a most trying time. She did things this week that I'm sure she didn't know she was capable of doing. She hung onto God with both hands and he sustained her and Brianna.

People have two choices when they encounter hardship.
1. Be angry and blame God
2. Have faith and trust God

So often people will choose to be angry and alienate themselves from God during the difficult seasons of their lives. For some it is easier to be angry and place blame than to have faith and trust in God, even when things aren't working out your way. Faith isn't easy, but I assure it is best. I've been there wanting to scream at God and ask him, what he was doing. It's okay to tell him how you feel. He already knows anyway. Talk to him. He wants to hear from you. It is a great exercise in strengthening your faith....remembering he is there and that you can talk to him.

This week's Bible memory verse for children's church is Isaiah 41:13. It's a good one for all of us!

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says, do not fear. I will help you."

Those are his words. Not mine. You can depend on them.

The bravest baby ever!

No Place Like Home for the Holidays

I've decided to take a quick break from my "Grocery Stories" for today. It's just a quick detour, I just can't help but share. Those of you who know me may already know this story, but I cannot help thinking back on it at this time of year.
First off, let me say that my mother absolutely loved Christmas! She loved God, so loving the season of Christmas was a natural outflowing of her relationship with God. From the time I was a little kid I can remember going off to school in the morning and coming home in the afternoon to our house transformed into a wonderland of tinsel and decorations. Mom did it up right. From the decorations, to the food everything was wonderful! She made it meaningful, beautiful and memorable for our family.
Fast forward from 1970 something to 1999. It was just a couple of weeks before Christmas. My husband Leo had just completed several rounds of chemotherapy for non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. We were celebrating that the treatment was complete! A friend of ours had taken him to Buffalo for his appointment that day. I was at home getting the kids ready to go to their school Christmas program. I had just finished helping Annie put on her special Christmas dress, when the phone rang. Answering it, I found my mother on the other end of the line. She had called to tell me that she was going in for surgery, that she may have breast cancer. Suddenly the previous celebration was forgotten. My mother did have breast cancer and over the following nine months received treatment for the cancer. In August of 2000 my mom was pronounced cancer free. To celebrate my father and mother booked a trip to Ireland, with my aunt and uncle. Mom and Dad loved Ireland. At the end of September they flew off to celebrate my Mom's good health. A few days later my cousin called to tell me that Mom and Dad came home early from their trip. Mom wasn't feeling well. My husband and I immediately left for Mom and Dad's house in Cincinnati. Arriving we found my Mom looking very tired and sick. She was having a difficult time breathing. The next morning I went with her to the doctors office. X-rays, scans and blood work were ordered. The cancer had come back. It was everywhere. Her options were to treat and maybe get six more months of life, or not to treat and have six weeks. Mom chose not to treat. We went home, and made arrangements for hospice. Leo went home and I stayed with the kids to take care of my mom in her last days.
One afternoon I was sitting in the chair next to my mother's bed holding her hand as she slept. I couldn't keep the tears from pouring down my face. How I was going to miss her. Mom woke up and saw me crying. She reached up and wiped a tear from my cheek and I remember ever so clearly what she said to me.
"Don't cry Meggie. I get to be home for the holidays with Mom and Dad, and Mimi (her sister)."
The memories of Christmas came flooding back, how Mom did everything up right. I remember, particularly well how the radio was always on in the background piping in the sounds of the season. Whenever the song "There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays"  by Perry Como would come on, my mom would tell us about Grandma, her mom. It was her favorite song. Grandma had died when I was just a little girl. I had very few memories of her, but my Mom kept her alive and real to us through her memories. Every time that song came on the radio we would turn it up and sing along. It made my Mom so happy to hear that song.
Over the next few days Mom drifted in and out of consciousness. It was the middle of the night very close to the end. The house was still and quiet. Mom hadn't said a word all day. Everyone had turned in for the night sometime earlier. I kept my vigil in the chair next to Mom's bed holding her hand. As I sat in the chair memories of my Mom and the wonderful life she gave me, my brothers, and my dad floated through my mind. I thought of Christmas and how different it was going to be that year without her. Then I remembered what she said. "I get to be home for the holidays."
In the quite of the night I began to sing "There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays". The tears were streaming down my cheeks. I didn't know if Mom could hear me, but I somehow wanted her to know I was happy that she was in fact going to be home for the holidays, celebrating her Savior with her Mom, Dad and sister. As I sang the song, I received the surprise of my life. My Mom, though seemingly almost passed from this world to the next began to sing quietly with me. I couldn't believe it! We got to sing it together...one more time. Mom passed quietly the next night.
This morning as I was getting ready for the day, "There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays" came on the radio, which is always on piping in the sounds of the season, just like when I was a little girl. As I stood in front of the mirror doing my hair. Alex came in and said, "There's Grandma's favorite song." I had to smile. You see, Alex never got to know my mother. She passed before he was born, but he knows all about her, right down to her favorite song. She is alive and well in all of our memories. I know God blessed me with that very special moment so many years ago when I got to sing her favorite song with her..... just one more time.
Annie once asked me if Christmas without my Mom makes me sad. My response, "No Annie. My Mom got to go home for the holidays and I wouldn't wish her anywhere else. She's celebrating with the REASON for the season."



Parenting in the Aisles

Today's grocery story actually took place at Wal Mart. It was back before it was a Super Wal Mart. One chilly November afternoon my daughter and I picked my sons Mark and Ryan up from school. Annie was probably about two, Mark was eight or nine years old. Ryan was six. I seem to remember Ryan's age well. You will understand in a moment. We were shopping in the girls department for a gift for a little girl we knew. Ryan was 'driving' the cart that day. Annie was perched happily in the front seat, playing with a small toy. Mark was just being Mark, climbing in and out of the middle of the racks of clothing. I stepped away from the cart to look at a Christmas dress that I was contemplating purchasing. Ryan and Annie were on the other side of the rack, Ryan, bored, leaning on the handle, Annie still playing contentedly with the little doll she had. Now this is where the fun begins. In all my life I have never called any of my children and had them immediately comply with my wishes. They most always comply, but generally not in an immediate fashion. I called to Ryan and told him to drive Annie over to me. I am not sure if it was due to Ryan's state of "boredness", or the fact that he just felt like being super obedient that day, but the following seconds are forever seared into my brain. Ryan immediately took the cart in hand and proceeded to whip it around the rack. As he made the turn the cart leaned on two wheels and then subsequently tipped over. In the space of a few seconds the cart was overturned, Annie was buried in a pile of items screaming her head off. Ryan immediately burst into tears.  Mark emerges from within a cloths rack and makes a bee line to the accident scene. His concern for his sister spewing from him in a very loud voice. "Ryan! Look what you did! You could of killed Annie!" (I think boys between the ages of 8-11 have no volume control. I have 5 sons. They have all proven this theory over and over again.) The lady behind the nearby jewelry counter leaps the counter and comes running to the scene. Here I stood in the middle of a pile of merchandise with three screaming children and one freaking out Wal Mart employee. It was one of those moments you want to cherish forever.......not really. After assuring the employee that everyone was fine and righting the cart. I took my three upset children and raced for the nearby shoe aisles. It was the only thing I could think of that might muffle the tears and upset of my children. Once in the shoe aisles I held Annie on my lap, reassured Ryan that there was no permanent damage done to his sister, and reminded Mark that it was my job to handle discipline, not his.
I am absolutely sure God was with me that day. First in the fact that neither Annie or Ryan got hurt when the cart overturned and second in that I somehow kept my cool in the midst of total chaos. The kids and I spent several minutes in between the rows of shoes, composing ourselves before returning to shopping. It was just before I walked out of the shoe department that I realized great compassion for my mother in law. You see, my husband Leo, did the same thing to his little brother Robert when he was a little kid. It must run in the family. I couldn't help but laugh.

It's about fifteen years later now and it is one of the funniest stories that we still reminisce about every year around this time. I'm even smiling as I type this. It truly is funny. God may have spared my children great injury that day, but we were also gifted with a memory that will make us laugh for years to come!
Be encouraged as you go out into the world with your children. We all have our moments. Our kids just help make more of them.
God's Peace to you....in aisles!

The Audacity to Argue with God!

Byrn Dairy returnable glass milk bottles.

Once again it is time for another Grocery Story. Today, I was thinking about another quick trip made to our local grocery store. It was a Sunday morning, approximately ten years ago. I had gone to church for worship team practice. Shortly after practice our youth pastor's wife came up to me asking if I could run to the store for her. She was in need of something for the youth class. I grabbed my keys and headed toward the car. It was only ten minutes before the service was to start. I needed to get back quickly. I made the short four block drive to the store, parked the car, and headed across the parking lot. Making my way to the store I discovered my choice of footwear that day was not wise. I picked out some really cute laced-up heeled boots. I love the way they looked with my outfit that day. I loved how tall they made me feel. However, I didn't like how they made my feet hurt. Walking toward the store, I glanced around the parking lot. Perhaps, to get my mind off the blisters forming on my toes. Looking to my right I saw a man with crutches parked in the handicapped parking spaces. He was reaching into the trunk of his car to retrieve four, returnable glass milk bottles. I remember wondering to myself how he was going to carry those milk bottles into the store with crutches. They aren't very light. That was going to be a job. It was then that God spoke up. It was clear in my mind. "Megan, you need to help him with those bottles." (Why He even had to speak to my heart is beyond me. I should have known what to do the minute I looked at the man.) Now mind you, I was a woman on a mission that day. Church was starting in approximately seven minutes. I needed to get what I was sent for and get back. So my inward response to God was. "I don't have time." Taking a few more steps, again the message was clear. "Megan, you need to help him with those bottles." Apparently, I was struggling with my desire to be my own god that day and I remember thinking to God, "I don't have time for this. My feet hurt and if I help him I am going to have to walk all the way back there. I need to get back they are expecting me. Church is going to start soon."  (Can you believe me? I was telling God being at church was more important than being the church!) Continuing to walk toward the store I felt the weight of God on my shoulders and His presence all around me. "Megan, you will help him with those bottles." It was not a request that time. It was a command. Frustrated, I relented and turned around, my feet hurting inside my really cute, not so practical boots. However, I wasn't frustrated with my boots or with God for sending me back there. I was frustrated with me. Who am I to question God? What was I thinking?, Nothing going on in my life is more important than the will of God! I made my way back to the man. He was still struggling with the crutches and the heavy glass milk bottles. I walked up to him and asked him he would like me to carry the milk bottles into the store for him.  I remember his response vividly, "Oh, you don't have to do that." I remember my vehement response vividly. "Oh, yes I do. Please allow me."
Taking the bottles from him, I made my way back toward the store. The bottles were as heavy as I remembered. The plastic handles were biting into my hands. I thought to myself. How would he have ever managed to get these into the store on crutches? Shame filled me. I was willing to, disobey God's directive and let this man suffer because I was on a mission. Really? Isn't my whole life a mission for God? In the space of those few moments I was broken and humbled.
Once in the store, I left the milk bottles at the service counter for return. I told the woman at the desk that the man would be by to collect his deposit, and went about my errand...... suddenly, not in as much of a hurry. As I came back around the first aisle, heading for the check out, I saw the man at the service counter. What I heard him say made me feel so small. He told the woman at the counter "Some beautiful angel brought these in for me. God bless her."
Wow, I didn't deserve that blessing that day. I wanted to cry. If only he had heard the argument I was having with God on the inside, he might rethink his blessing.
I paid for my items and made my way back to the car. My feet completely forgotten, my reason to hurry no longer important.
The lessons I learned that day changed my life. I learned that I was not submitting to God in the way He wanted me to. I seriously needed to work on that. I was reminded that everything we do is part of God's mission, whether it is running to the store on a quick errand or stopping in the middle of that errand to help one of God's own. God wanted me to lose the fight and do His will. God won as He always should. From that day on submitting to God took on a whole new light.
So, what is the point in all of this?
Today as you go about your day keep in mind, your mission is not what you have on your "to do list" or in your mind, but what God puts in your life. His "to do list" is so much more important than yours. Don't look at the interruptions in your life as something negative. Look at them as opportunities to be God's missionary. When these things happen to you, keep in mind that He picked you for those moments. Consider it an honor, not a burden, to be called to do His will.

 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

Left Overs at the Grocery Store Door

I was making another quick trip to the grocery store today, to pick up some bread and milk. It was just starting to get dark out and I saw a woman standing at the garbage can just outside the entrance door. It looked like she was looking at papers or something from what I could make out, in the diminishing light. However, when I got closer what I saw broke my heart.  I realize that we live in an area of great poverty and that alone is sad, but this took things to new level of low. When I got closer to the garbage can I realized the woman was picking through the cigarette butts in the ashtray on top of the receptacle. Now, I am not completely naïve to think that people don't do this. Generally speaking, I don't run into them while they are doing this. I am not sure if I kept my face neutral when I saw her. I hope I did. She suddenly glanced up at me as I got closer, realizing she was not alone. She looked embarrassed and said "Hello." to me. I said "Hello" to her.  In her hand were used cigarette butts of various sizes. She quickly stuffed them into her worn out winter coat pocket. I went the rest of the way into the store and grabbed a cart. I turned to glance back and she was back at the ashtray again. As I was walking through the produce section I saw her come into the store. I could see her better in the light. Her blond hair was limp and stuck to her head. Her coat and pants had seen much better days. I watched as she made her way to the deli and placed an order for a sandwich. Up until that moment I was wondering if I should buy her some food, but obviously she had money of some sort since she was able to place an order for food. Perhaps she only had public assistance. That would be my guess since she was foraging through the ashtray. How I wished I could have helped her, but I really didn't know how. She didn't need food. She wanted cigarettes. Who knows maybe the ashtray finds weren't even for her. But....my heart was sad. What she really needs is Jesus. A chance meeting at the grocery store doesn't make that happen. Should I have bought her some cigarettes and invited her to church? I don't know. I have been over and over it in my head. So I prayed. In all actuality that is the absolute best thing I can do for her. God was looking down on her tonight. He knew she was digging in the ashtray. He was not surprised like me. She is His child. He must be hurting for her so much more than me.
Tonight when I spend my time in prayer with God, she will be there in the midst of them.

If you make a quick trip to the store tonight, keep your heart and  your eyes open. There may be someone God wants you to pray for today.

  Pray continually.  1 Thessalonians 5:17

Stop and Smell the Bananas

Do you remember, in my last blog how I said that most of the lessons God has taught me in the grocery store have to do with slowing down? Well, I must confess that my first "God Moment" in the grocery store was exactly that and nothing more. Though I have become better at the whole "slowing down" thing over the past twenty some years, (that could be mostly due to age at this point), I have found that it is a small part of every lesson I need to learn, a common thread.

I think my first "Grocery Story" happened when I was about 22 years old. We were living in Amherst, Ohio, a bedroom community of Cleveland.  My husband was working for the small local hospital there. As a matter of fact, we lived directly across the street from the hospital. It was a great arrangement for commuting. We saved a ton on gas. The only downfall to that arrangement was the nurses and doctors could see when we were home and would call whenever they wanted for whatever they wanted. (Usually when we turned out our bedroom light for the night. I think it was a game they played, since they could see the light to our bedroom which was in the front of the house.)

Well, the morning of my first lesson was a hectic one. Leo had gotten called over to the hospital for an actual, legit, emergency. It was early when he was called out, but despite the early hour Leo was not able to come home between the emergency and his office hours. So having great compassion on my poor "uncoffeed" and "unbreakfasted" husband, I decided to run out to get him a little something to tide him over until lunch. I bundled Ryan into his winter coat, hat and mittens for the four mile trip to McDonalds. Their coffee is way better than mine. Since I was out, I thought I would make a quick stop at the grocery store to pick up some things I needed for dinner. Being a suburb of Cleveland, the grocery store, of course was massive, definitely not like Giant Food Mart here in Cuba. It was actually a Super K-Mart. Since I was only picking up a couple of things from produce, I didn't bother with a cart. This was my first mistake. Ryan and I made our way back to the produce section and we immediately made a bee line to the green peppers. There wasn't a very good selection so I was having to dig around to find a good one. In the few short seconds that I was attending to the green peppers, Ryan decided to attend to the bananas nearby. He already had breakfast, but if you know Ryan, you know he can eat 24/7. He's always been that way. As I popped the green pepper into a produce bag I turned to see Ryan shoving the very last bit of a banana into his mouth. He had the whole thing in there! His pudgy little cheeks bulging with the ripe fruit. His pudgy little hands holding the empty peel. He looked up at me and tried to smile around the banana in his mouth. I didn't know what to do! He stole and ate a banana while we were standing in the produce section! I frantically grabbed the peel from him and looked around. "Who do I ask what to do? Do I weigh him at the check out and guesstimate what I owe?" I was about to panic.  So doing the most sensible (and dishonest thing I could come up with I stuffed the empty peel into my coat pocket, (mistake number two). I grabbed Ryan's hand and started toward the check out, pulling him along as fast as his little legs would carry him. By the time we got to the check out stand, Ryan had finished chewing and swallowing his stolen banana. I had no cash on me that day, so I had to write a check. As I was writing the check Ryan picked up a box of orange Tic Tacs. He wanted them. I told him "no" and put them back on the display. I went back to writing the check and just as I finished filling out the first line  I hear what sounded like a small "Tic Tac waterfall" behind me. I turned around to find Ryan standing in a puddle of orange Tic Tacs. How he got them open is beyond me! It takes me a minimum of 3-5 minutes to open a box of Tic Tacs. I grabbed the empty box from his hands an put it up on belt with my green peppers to pay for. Besides the stolen banana peel in my coat pocket was already burning a hole in my conscience. I grabbed Ryan's hand and pulled him over next to me and as I did he hit his head on the metal check stand. It made that hollow metal sound you would expect when you hit your head on the check out stand (mistake number three). Of course Ryan decides to speak out at that moment, since he wasn't chewing anything and yelled, "Ouch! That hurt!" I think the lady at the check out probably thought I was the worst mom in the world. I was just waiting for someone to call CPS or at the very least store security. The cashier told me my total, including the empty box of Tic Tacs (not the banana) and I finished writing the check. Ryan and I went back out the car. Of course I was fuming about this brief, yet painful, grocery store experience. I lectured Ryan's little two year old ears on the evils of stealing, as I sat guiltily in the front seat with the banana peel in my pocket. I drove through McDonalds and took my husband breakfast. When I got home I sat down feeling very defeated and emotionally exhausted from my quick trip to the store. It was then that God spoke to my heart. This didn't have to play out this way. It could have played out much better. I didn't need to be in such a hurry. There wasn't a fire anywhere. Leo was in no danger of starving to death. I wasn't being the mom I needed to be. I wasn't being patient. There really was no good reason for my impatience. I needed to slow down. I needed to stop and smell the bananas with Ryan, and maybe buy a couple for us to share, rather than steal an empty peel. God and I had a good talk that day. It was a good lesson to learn.

So this week if you are feeling harried and hurried, be sure to take a moment to stop and smell the bananas. I am positive you won't regret a few moments of peace in your day. Besides, God has it all under control anyway.



Grocery Stories

I know you may think I am crazy, when I tell you that some of the most valuable lessons I have learned about the Christian faith, I have learned at the grocery store. Well, not just the grocery store, other stores as well, but primarily the grocery store. Everything from loving your neighbor as your self, to sharing what God has blessed you with, to raising your children up in the way they should go. If you look among the aisles and colorful displays of food  you will find God there. We already know He is everywhere, omnipresent, but most of us go about our daily lives forgetting that very important piece of information. So, if we know He is omnipresent, why would we think He wouldn't be at the grocery store?

To be completely honest I never thought I would experience a "God Moment" at the grocery store, and certainly not multiple "God Moments" while grocery shopping, but over the years I have met God in the aisles of the grocery store more times than I can count. Actually, I have found most often that He is there to teach me something about loving and caring for others...AND it is usually when I am in a hurry, or tired, or running late, or trying to get home to my family, at the end of a long day. Part of every lesson I have learned has been to slow down. It is a lesson most of us need to be reminded of, frequently.

Over the next couple of blogs I plan to share with you the things God has taught me in the middle of a quick trip to the grocery store. I can't wait to share these life changing shopping trips with you. I hope that these vignettes will cause you to pause and think about the goodness of our God and that He is with us always....even at the grocery store.

Next: Slow Down and Smell the Bananas





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Stand Strong

Today at work I was listening to some of the songs I use in my ministry to children. I always try to listen well to the words, to evaluate each song for both its theological accuracy and understandability by children. I do not want to confuse these tender little minds with such misunderstand-able song lyrics as:
"Up from the gravy He arose."

or  "angels prostate fall"........
It's "angels prostrate fall", just in case you weren't sure.
Words are so important! One of the songs I was listening to today was titled "Stand Strong". I came to the conclusion that I really, really like this song for kids...and for me.... And I'm not afraid to admit it! These are the lyrics:

Careful what you say
Careful what you do
Dare to keep your head
Dare to keep your cool

Life can be distracting
Careful how your acting
Don't forget God lives in you

Stand strong
Hold on, even when it's tough
You've got to lean on God and He will lift you up
Stand strong
Hold on, even when it's hard
You've got to lean on Him and remember whose you are.
Stand strong

What wonderful, encouraging, and uplifting words! Who doesn't need to be reminded of these words every now and again? I know I do. In fact I needed reminded today.
So I thought to myself. "Self, if you needed reminding today, perhaps someone else needs reminding too."

So, here is your reminder:

 

 

*Song from Colossal Coaster World VBS by Lifeway 

Forgiveness vs. "Forgetness"



Forgiveness vs. Forgetness
I realize that forgetness is not a real word, but it has been a word in my vocabulary for many years. Like most people I have experienced some very significant hurts in my lifetime and like most people there have been times when I have struggled to forgive those who have hurt me. After my last blog you will realize that I tend to fall on the side of forgiving more, rather than less. Thought it is not easy to forgive, I think it is even more difficult to forget. (Can I get an "Amen" to that?)

I find there are two questions that run through my mind when I am dealing with forgetness.
1. Am I supposed to forget what happened?
2. If I am supposed to forget what happened, how do I do that?

Well, to our relief the Bible does offer some counsel on this subject. Really it does.

Question 1
"Am I supposed to forget what happened?"

Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves.  Matthew 10:16

What do we know about the relationship between sheep and wolves? It's pretty simple. Wolves think sheep are tasty. It would behoove (he, he, he behoove) us as sheep to walk into the world prepared. Part of that preparation is learning from the past. If we have been hurt, naturally we will remember. By no means should we hold a grudge, but by all means we should learn from our past and apply what we have learned to our future. We should be as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves.  Wisely learn from your past. Wisely apply it to your future.

Question2
"If I am supposed to forget what happened,  how do I do that?"

Okay, this is the part where you have some control of what you forget. Perhaps forgetting here isn't so much a one time deal, but an ongoing choice.

Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.  Philippians 4:8

Forgetness is a choice. Yep. It is a choice. What do you spend your time thinking on? Is it true? Is it honorable? Is it right? Is it pure? Is it lovely or of good repute? Is it excellent or praise worthy?

This is probably the area which I have struggled the most. I struggled so much, I thought maybe I didn't really forgive. In my head I would know that I forgave. I know I offered forgiveness. I know  when I gave the forgiveness the burden was lifted from my life. I felt it. I would later become so disappointed with myself. Why did the memories plague me? Why couldn't I forget? See Philippians 4:8. I can almost guarantee if you are struggling with forgetting the past and moving on with the future you are not applying Philippians 4:8.

Satan will try to replay those terrible memories over and over in your mind. It is up to you, with God's Holy Spirit power to "take every thought captive" (2 Corinthians10:5b).  It is not easy to do, but it is not impossible. Start praying as soon as the negative thoughts and memories start to surface. Give them to God and ask for His strength to choose your thoughts, using Philippians 4:8 as your guide for what to dwell upon. Do not dwell on the unchangeable past. Dwell on what is excellent and praise worthy.

Many times the forgiveness comes easier than the forgetness. It is my prayer that if you steep yourself in the promises of God that you will be able to truly experience the forgetness you need to live a life free painful past memories.

Forgiveness 1

"And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors."
Matthew 6:12

This is one that I have spent years and years working on, and continue to do so to this very day. Of course I want God to forgive my debts! Who doesn't want that?  The question is, "Do I want to forgive others the way I want Christ to forgive me?" It is one of the basic Christian directives that we all know we must comply with, but also one with which we struggle on our journey toward heaven.

The subject of forgiveness has come up several times this past week while I was at work, in my travels, and even in my home. It seems there are currently two camps regarding the logistics of forgiveness. My boss and I were discussing these the other day. I am not sure which camp I am in some days. I still waffle back and forth between the two depending on the day and the scripture reference.

Camp 1:  "As a Christian I should forgive everyone, at all times, no matter what the offense.

Camp 2: "As a Christian I need to forgive as Christ forgives. As a believer I came to Him, confessed my sins and asked His forgiveness. I need to forgive those who have sought my forgiveness as I sought Christ's forgiveness.

They both sound plausible.  They both make me think hard....hard enough to get a headache. (Could someone get me some Tylenol? I think I am going to need it.)

I am going to try and "unpack" these camps here.  As I look at scripture I see two "different" kinds of forgiveness. This is by no means a conclusive list of what each of these camps entail, but they are my lists of my "out loud thinking/typing". Feel free to chime in with your own thoughts on either or both camps. I am certainly not done thinking on this myself and welcome any further insight.

Camp 1
Jesus is our example of forgiveness. In John 4:7-38 we read the account of the Samaritan woman at the well. Though Jesus talks with her and she believes in Him, she does not ask Him for forgiveness. She does ask Him for the living water, but not specifically for forgiveness. Was she forgiven by Christ at that time? She went back to town and spread the word about Him. Did he forgive her? Did she realize she should ask for forgiveness?

In John 8, we read about the adulterous woman. When all is said and done, we will see that she did not ask forgiveness, but Jesus said to her. "I do not condemn you either. Go. From now on sin no more." Again, in this passage of scripture you will see that she does not ask for Christ's forgiveness, but it is clearly given to her.

Even in Luke 23, one of the criminals being crucified next to Jesus, was forgiven and promised a place in paradise. The criminal did not ask specifically for forgiveness, but he asked to be "remembered" by Jesus.

These three Biblical accounts lead us to believe that perhaps we are to forgive everyone, at all times, no matter the offense.

Camp 2
God's word instructs us regarding forgiveness.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

I would have to say that is some pretty straight forward instruction right there. We ask. He forgives. How does that apply in our daily walk as Christians? Are we to forgive as He does in 1 John, only when someone seeks forgiveness from us? 1 John indicates that once we confess He forgives. There is no stipulation on what kind of sin, it isn't sin specific, it encompasses all sin. We have to start the dialogue with Him.

When we become "born again" believers in Christ, we come to Him. We ask His forgiveness. He forgives us. Does this work the same way with the people in our lives? Are we not required forgive unless they ask us first? I can think of a few people that I am going to be waiting until.....well...somewhere freezes over before they would come seeking my forgiveness. The question is, "Am I to wait to forgive them?"

In Conclusion...for now
As I have indicated above, this is me "typing out-loud". This in no way indicates me belonging to a certain camp. I can honestly say I lean more toward Camp 1. Time and time again in scripture we see Jesus setting the example and forgiving, without people ever asking His forgiveness. (And this can go in a "whole 'nother" direction. People we are waiting to ask forgiveness of us and they don't even realize they need to.) He went to the cross to ensure our opportunity for eternal life. We didn't ask for it.  But we ask for it when we come to realize our need for Him.

I think that Camp 2 makes it easier for us as humans to withhold forgiveness, especially when we don't want to forgive. There have been several times where I would say I was a true blue member of Camp 2, but mostly because I personally didn't want to have to forgive.

Of course we can always move in the direction that forgiveness isn't about them. It is about me. If I don't forgive, I carry it and it can fester and make me a bitter person. To forgive another frees me of that burden.

When the day ends I don't think it matters which camp you might think you belong to. I think it all boils down to Matthew 6:12.
"And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors."

God will forgive us as we have forgiven others. Whether you think you are in Camp 1 or Camp 2 does not matter. You will be forgiven as you have forgiven.

If I had to pick a side on which to error, I think it would be on the side of giving more forgiveness rather than less. Giving more forgiveness takes more work, but I really feel quite positive it is the way He is leading us.

Coming Next: Forgiveness vs. "Forgetness"