Loving Intentionally

Since the beginning of the year I’ve been working on loving people better, more like God would want, telling them what they’ve done to bless me, what they mean to me, and how they have changed or contributed to my life or happiness. Sometimes it’s sending notes, other times it’s a FB post or private message, and sometimes it’s in person, if I have the opportunity. What has most amazed me on this adventure to love people better is how much people don’t realize the positive effect they can have on your life. The responses to loving people more, or even telling people I love them, have been priceless. For some, they do not even remember the kindness that prompted my mention. For others they are amazed that the little thing they did meant so much. For some they respond as if they don’t deserve the genuine appreciation given and brush it off, and some are delighted that God used them to bless my life. This isn’t about me. It’s all about others and the observations I have made. I’m just sharing my adventures in living/loving more intentionally. Doing this has made me understand on a greater level how starved people are to hear something good or encouraging in their day. It seems people are prone to look for and point out the worst in everyone, even at home. Most often we do not even think to tell the people in our lives how much they mean to us. We just assume they already know. I assure you most do not. 

The second discovery I’ve made on this journey is that the general population -our neighbors- the one’s God’s word instructs us to love as we love ourselves, expect the worst and seem accustomed to receiving it. Such as the poor young girl working at our local fast food and ice cream shop the other night. A disgruntled patron, upset because she called to place an order and was put hold, hung up and drove to the store to cruelly chew out the young girl working hard at the front counter all by herself. The place was hopping and this girl had her hands full. Alex and I sat watching her. She’s a good worker and she patiently and kindly endured the abuse this patron was dishing at her. If I was in any kind of physical shape I would have picked the yelling woman up, tossed her over my shoulder, and promptly removed her from the premises. (I know, I know that’s not very lady like of me.) This woman’s upset and abuse was uncalled for. I was having a hard time loving her at all for a moment. Perhaps, there were extenuating circumstances....perhaps. Before Alex and I left I told the young girl that I thought she as doing a fantastic job running the counter all by herself....of course the yelling lady was still standing right there waiting for her food. I made sure she heard. This was the amazing part..or maybe sad part. The girl looked more surprised at hearing something good from us, than she did when the disgruntled woman was verbally maligning her and her ability as an employee in front of the entire busy establishment. Really, how hard is it to put aside our own selfish entitlement, our insatiable desire to have our chicken dinner now, over the well being of another person? When did mistreating people so thoughtlessly come into fashion? I don’t find it fashionable at all. It’s time for us to change the trend. It’s time to bring kind, respectful treatment of our neighbors and loved ones back into vogue. It is time as Christians to truly demonstrate to the world what loving your neighbor really looks like. I am glad God has placed this desire in my heart to love people more intentionally. It has not only been enlightening but also life changing for me, and I hope for the other people God has blessed me with in my life. It is my hope that maybe you too will want to join in this adventure with me. It is a journey worth taking for all. 

Only God Knows

I'm not the same.

It all started about a month before I even had the faintest inkling of what God was up to.

God had Matthew our district church camp director send me a Facebook message. He wanted to know if I would be interested in teaching a seminar at camp in a little under 3 weeks. He had an open spot and wondered if I would be willing to fill it. The topic- Church Outside the Box. We do that at the church where I am on staff. It just happened this is a topic I am very passionate about. I've seen what God can do when we are ministering outside the church building (aka:box).

Truth- I didn't want to. I was tired. It had been a crazy, hairy, high stress year launching a new  off site ministry and I had determined months earlier that this year I was going to camp and I was going to do nothing or at least the very minimum I could possibly do. I was going to rest and enjoy myself.

So, of course I said yes. To this day I have no idea why I said yes in that moment. Honestly, I was even kind of miffed with myself afterward that I said yes and wondered if it were too late to change my mind.

Fast Forward 20 Days

She walked into the seminar room that day. To be completely honest I do not remember seeing her come in. I do not even remember making eye contact with her at anytime during the seminar.  Actually, I was a little too caught up in myself that day to really notice. You see, the night before I had gotten sick. I had been up most of the night with horrible stomach pain and vomiting, completely out of the blue. I was fine all day the day before. I went to bed. I woke up sick as a dog sometime around midnight. I finally was able to fall asleep around 4:30 and was back up at 7:00. I lay in bed that morning thinking to myself how much I wanted to cancel my seminar. I just wanted to stay in bed. My head hurt from lack of sleep, my stomach still hurt, and I could barely keep my eyes open. I had good reason to cancel, but somehow managed to convinced myself I shouldn't. Pastors don't cancel. They just work through it and that is what I was going to do. I was going to go, teach the seminar, and then promptly return to my bed. That was it. I only had to get through the seminar. I could do it through Christ who strengthens me. Right? Right!

The seminar went great. I had some wonderful co-speakers who shared the importance of making sure your church wasn't just having church in the church. I got to share my passion for reaching the lost by doing "Church Outside the Box", and the impact it can have on a community.

When the seminar came to a close. I was getting ready to go as fast as I could. I just wanted to be in my bed sleeping off the stupor of sickness from the night before..... and she walked up to the front of the room. I still can see her face. I didn't know her and I immediately assumed she was someone from one of the district churches coming to get more information because she too was passionate about community outreach and evangelism.

She wasn't.

She started telling me her story. She had recently gotten out of rehabilitation after nearly dying. She had struggled with alcohol almost her entire life. The doctors told her she had to stop or she would die. She had decided to turn to Christ. She knew he was the only one who could save her. As she continued her story, I felt the nudge. You know the one. I like to refer to it as The Holy Nudge.

Truth- Let's be real for a moment. I really wasn't in the mood for The Holy Nudge that day. I felt like garbage. I wanted to go back to bed and hide from the world.

*I am not proud to share the above. I am heartily ashamed.

Amazing Act of God - I actually obeyed the nudge after a brief conversation in my head trying to come up with reasons to delay the nudge or find a way be nudged at a different time, when I felt better.

Fact - God's nudges are not scheduled for your convenience. You probably know that. This is just a friendly reminder.

I asked her to come with me to a quieter corner of the classroom as everyone was still milling around and chatting. We found two seats in the corner and she continued to share her story. She told me that since she had come out of the nursing home where she was rehabilitating her strength after nearly dying, she had been reading her Bible and praying, but felt like something was missing. She knew she needed God but something wasn't right.

You know where this is going.

Side Bar - Not for one moment did I ever think I was going meet up with someone who needed to pray and ask Jesus into their life at a Christian college, district church camp full of pastors, pastor's spouses, pastor's kids, and people who faithfully attended church. I've been attending for 13 plus years. It just doesn't happen, unless maybe it's a child  new to the faith in children's ministry.

*Never, never, never discount your location as a place where someone does not need Christ. I know that. Why was I so surprised?

So in the corner we held each other's hands and prayed together as she gave her life to Christ. The whole room was chattering all around us, but we were at peace with God, just the three of us. It was a beautiful moment. I will remember it always.

When we had finished we got up from our seats and I hugged her. We talked briefly about next steps, reading her Bible and declaring her faith by getting baptized. Before she walked out of the room she turned and looked at me and said. "I knew I was supposed to talk to you. I just knew God wanted me to talk to you."

I stood there in silent disbelief at what had just happened. What in the world? Thank you God! But what in the world? That certainly wasn't even remotely on my radar screen that morning. Sadly, I was the only thing on my radar screen that morning.

Oh yeah, I was sick. But you know what? Somehow that didn't matter anymore.

More importantly I was humbled.

As I left the building I ran into Matthew (camp director) and told him about what had just transpired. He proceeded to share with me that she had just called him that morning and asked if there was still room available at the camp. She wanted to attend. She only arrived that morning and ended up in my seminar. Why she would want to attend a seminar on "Church Outside the Box" is beyond me, but it was not beyond God.

I saw her a couple of times during the rest of the week of camp. I was able to get her in contact with a woman who attends our church who lived in the same town. She runs a youth center right around the corner from this woman's apartment. Perfect! It was so wonderful to see my new sister in Christ at the worship services, worshiping her God. She was so happy. She knew she had found what she was missing.

Closing day of camp our District Superintendent came up to me. He knew I was going to be driving through a certain town on my way home and wanted to know if I would give a certain woman and her daughter a ride home. As he was talking to me I put two and two together and thought to myself,  "I didn't know she didn't have a car. How did she even get to camp?"  I told him, "I know her." Once again our paths were aligned. I gave them a ride home. We had wonderful conversation. I enjoyed our time together. I gave her my cell phone number and told her to call if she needed anything. We made arrangements for her and her daughter to get a ride to church every Sunday.

In the following weeks my friend would faithfully attend church on Sunday and faithfully called me every Friday evening around 5:00 and we would chat for an hour or so. I think Friday at 5:00 was a rough time and day for her. She was still battling her addiction here and there and she needed to talk. During those conversations I came to discover she was a very intelligent, loving, thoughtful woman. She would tell me about how she would listen to the Christian radio station and sing along with the songs. She would tell me how she kept messing up and having to start all over again in her addiction battle. She wanted to find a way to start an alcohol recovery program where she was. There wasn't a good one in her town and she needed a good one. We found some connections to start one and a possible ride to one in a neighboring town. In the mean time she would go walking around town and tell everyone about her new found relationship with Christ. She wanted the world to know.

We met after church one Sunday to discuss baptism and make sure she was ready to take that step. She was so excited.  She decided to do the courageous thing and get baptized in our local lake during our second annual lake baptism service.  This was courageous, after all she had been through in recent months. I even tried to dissuade her into using the indoor baptismal at the church, but she insisted she wanted to do it "outdoors in front of God". She could not wait to make her public proclamation.

The day arrived. I made arrangements to pick her up at her home and bring her and her daughter to the lake. She was one of nine people getting baptized that day. She shared with the crowd gathered at the lakeside her love of Christ and her excitement. She was like a child before her Daddy. It truly was a beautiful day.

Diane 

Little did we know that day that our time with her was limited. A couple of weeks later in the early morning hours I had a dream. In the dream I was running down a road and suddenly Diane was running behind me. I remember thinking in my dream  "How did she get here? I don't think she can run." This was an odd dream for me. Generally, I either dream dreams of people I am very close to or I just don't remember my dreams. I can still see this dream in my mind.  Shortly after I woke up I got a message from my friend who lives in her town telling me that Diane was in the hospital. I prayed, got dressed, and went to the hospital to see her. She was in the ICU, on a ventilator. Her liver and her kidneys were giving out. She proceeded to worsen over the next 14 days. I would go in and sit with her and talk to her when no one was there. I hoped and prayed God would allow her to hear me. I prayed God would give her one more chance to live and be healed and continue to share his love with others.

Finally, after many days and many prayers and petitions made on her behalf it was determined by her family, that she would be placed on comfort care. Everything that could be done for her had been done. All life support was removed. We circled her bed, joined hands and prayed as she made her way into her Saviors arms.

It is in these moments that God seems to bring things into perfect clarity...what's most important in life and what isn't. He makes clear our foolish upsets, our misplaced attentions, our frivolous concerns, our selfishness. It made me wonder as I watched her family say "good bye for now" if  God would be pleased with how I have loved the people he has placed in my life. I'm not just talking about my family members, but everyone he places in my life, the people I like and the people I sometimes do not like.

Did I love Diane enough?

That night when Diane's long last day on this earth was finally over I climbed into my bed and the realization of how different this day could have been for Diane hit me full force. The tears flowed hard and fast. I almost couldn't breathe as I prayed.

"Dear God, This could have ended so differently today. You know how close it came to ending differently. God you know I am not always good at hearing or heeding your nudges. Sometimes I am so selfish. You know how selfishly I wanted to spend my week of camp. I didn't want to teach that seminar. God you know I wanted to cancel the seminar when I was sick. You know I wanted to leave as soon as it was over and tend only to my selfish needs. I certainly wasn't on my death bed for sure. I just didn't feel good. God you know the struggle I had in my heart and yes only through some miracle of yours I heard you and did what you wanted, but God it almost didn't happen! You know that! I know that! Oh God! How many of these moments have I missed? How many Diane's did you need me to minister to and I didn't see or I didn't hear because I was caught up in myself, my petty concerns, my plans? God I narrowly did what you wanted me to do this time, but how many times have I missed what you wanted me to do? Oh God, will I ever get it right without the internal struggle first? God help me hear you and respond in obedience without hesitation. I don't ever want it to be a close call like this again!"

Now, I fully realize that if God wanted Diane in heaven there is nothing that would have stopped him and nothing did, not even flawed me.  He is after all, all powerful. But the "what if" of this situation truly terrified me as I briefly imagined the alternative that could have been Diane's. It reminded me what is truly important. It re-energized me  to be more diligent as I go about the dailiness of my life and to really look at people and really hear them no matter my plans, no matter my location.

Please know I am not sharing this story to glean any outpouring of support or sympathy for me. Please do not respond with such. I do not deserve any such thing. Yes, I did the right thing, but I know that it truly was only through the sovereign grace of God that Diane's salvation was secured, not me. Not me. The truth is pastor or not we all struggle with this very thing. Do we hear the still small voice at all? Do we hear the still small voice and heed it? Do we feel The Holy Nudge and obey it? Every time?

Let's face the facts. God may have used me to minister to Diane, however reluctant I was that day, but honestly God used Diane to minister to me.

I'm not sure who I need to attribute this original quote to but it has been something I have been pondering the last few days.

"The Christian life is lived in forward, but understood in reverse."

Looking back I clearly see what God was up to, and so do you.

I will not be the same.

Thank you God. Amen

So Much More Than Just Sunday

Tonight while enjoying a cup of coffee with a dear friend I felt a great burden of prayer come over me. This happens occasionally, where God overwhelms me with great compassion for a friend or loved one. Often, I don't know the reason I have been called to pray. It just happens and my response is to be obedient and pray. Tonight the call wasn't a call to pray for the friend I was with, but for my boss. My friend was sharing with me some tough decisions and conversations she had to have with my boss this week, regarding her ministry at the church. She is a very gifted person who is working to find the best place to minister within her giftings. That can be a difficult thing to figure out when you are good at a lot of things. I know that my boss would want her ministering in the areas that fit her best, and he of course encouraged her in that as he does for everyone on staff or volunteer. It may put a wrench in what he is doing or how he is leading, but he isn't about what is convenient for him. He is about what is best for God's kingdom. As she was sharing I suddenly had a flashback to this past week in the office.

Let me back up for a moment. I've never been naive enough to think for one moment that the job of a pastor is just on Sunday. Obviously shepherding a flock is an all week job. Granted some weeks are easier than others, but it is full time, especially in a growing church. This week was no exception. I am a staff pastor at our church. The office building is small. Being in such a small building you usually can't miss what is going on, even if you want to. Our senior pastor had quite a week. I started it out Sunday after a very long day of wonderful, but exhausting ministry. In the last two weeks we had thirteen baptisms. We just celebrated our one year anniversary of having two Sunday morning worship services.  It was a busy day. At the end of the day I kind of gave him a hard time about something he said, that I didn't like. That happens quite a bit when you are a pastor, people not always liking what you say. However, I'm generally not the one lodging the complaints. I tend to camp more on the receiving side, but I didn't this time. You know you have a good boss when you can openly share something that hurts you or you don't like and he doesn't get defensive. He walked in Monday morning and talked with me to work it out. I truly appreciate that about him. He didn't placate me. He truly wanted to make the situation better. That alone made things better. Aside from me and my grumblings, his week has been crazy. I'm not really sure how many hours he has put in. Ministry isn't really ever a 9-5 job. I know some of the hours this week have been a sacrifice of personal and family time. I am always amazed no matter how many people he sees in a day he greets each one as if they were the first. I've never known anyone who so selflessly builds into the lives of others as he does. There were at least four of those meetings this week, that I knew of.  I know for a fact he walked into and skillfully dealt with some sticky situations in the last few days. As wonderful as church is it can be sticky sometimes. He didn't avoid the messes. He walked right into them and addressed each one thoughtfully and carefully, with the love of Christ. In the midst of all of this I see him doing his best to be the husband he needs to be to his wife and love Ashley, who is so patient and giving herself, as she helps him and encourages him in his ministry, even when at times it is a sacrifice for her. As my friend I've never once heard her complain about the sacrifices she and their children make as he does what God has called him to do. As a father he is invested fully in the lives of his four children, attending parent teacher conferences, and every play, concert, or recital. He's right there front and center with Ashley. He somehow by the grace of God fits it all in. It just seemed this week he went from person to person, situation to situation, meeting to meeting without break, ministering to the best of his ability in God's strength. It had to be God's strength. That is the only way I can explain it. We've seen his heart for God at North Park and how he works tirelessly sharing God's love.

But...the overwhelming call to prayer was undeniable tonight as I reflected on this week. I came home from having coffee and set out immediately to praying as God so clearly burdened me to do. I have always prayed for him, Ashley, and the kids, as we always should pray for our pastors, but now it seems as the church is growing and the responsibilities are growing that our prayer needs to be growing as well.  Our church is blessed with a wonderful pastor and family. He and they need our ongoing encouragement and prayer support. You see....his job isn't just on Sunday. It's everyday.

Priority One - God.....Starving at a Banquet

It never ceases to amaze me how busy we can get working for God ,yet not have time to spend with him.  That has been the case for the past several weeks for me.   I have spent time preparing lessons, writing a wedding ceremony, counseling and praying with hurting people, preparing devotionals, participating in VBS and District Camp, doing sermon prep, and even reading some wonderful works by learned Christian authors. However,  I found myself running on empty. The time I was spending with God, was for God's kingdom. It wasn't time for just us. It was me and Him, and the children I would be teaching, and those I was sharing the devotional with, the hurting people who ask for prayer, and the beloved congregation I will be sharing with the next few weeks. Sure, I've spent plenty of time with him recently, but not time alone with him. I've had my Bible open every day, but it wasn't open for the specific purpose of filling me up.  It was used to fill others up. Now I fully realize that what I am doing for God's kingdom is of great value, but the truth is I cannot give him my best if I am not taking care of myself both physically and spiritually. I want to be able to give my best. I have discovered over the past few years how easy it is for a pastor to spend tons of time in the word and in prayer, but still not be fed. It is true. It can happen. I equate this with being at a banquet where there is every food imaginable, but not being able to find anything to eat! There is no shortage of food. I have only to fill my plate. The same goes with God. I need only fill my plate. If my plate/life is empty it is because I have failed to fill it with what I need or I have been filling it on fast food....short stops to grab a snack to go. I may even find myself filling up, but not on what I need, but what my ministry needs. I need to have a well balanced plate.
(Right about now you are probably wondering what kind of pastor am I to admit such a thing. All I can say is truthful. It's the honest truth. This can happen to pastors. It can happen to anyone who daily gives of his/her life to the Lord. It is a fine line to walk being with God and truly being with God.)
Naturally, there are seasons in life that are busier than others and there are times in the life of a pastor when ministry doesn't happen in nice, neat scheduled boxes. For me time alone with God is a scheduled priority, but that doesn't stop the unexpected early morning phone call from someone in need, that leaks into your time alone with God, then makes you late arriving in the office. Life happens and for the laborer in Christ. Life is ministry.
With all of that being said we need to constantly remind ourselves of the importance of being with God. We should not be in a hurry with God, but taking time to truly bask in his presence. You don't even have to say anything.....just be. Take a breather, be a human being, not a human doing. It's okay to just be before your God. Ask him to fill you with his peace, love and wisdom. Fill your heart and mind with his Holy word. Sing a song of praise to him. Write him a letter or poem in your journal. Ponder the many blessings he has given you in your life. Take your time. Connect with your Creator. He misses you. He loves you. He hasn't gone anywhere. He's waiting for you.

Mark 1:35
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went to a solitary place, where he prayed.

Follow his example. Make that time for just you and your Heavenly Father.
It makes all the difference! There is no need to starve at the banquet of God's love!

The Power of Words in Social Media

In the past few weeks God has been impressing on me over and over again the power of words. To be completely honest the impressing has been showing up within the confines of the office counselling session to the pages of social media. No matter the setting I find my heart breaking over and over again. I see so many of my dear friends, loved ones and church members suffering the agony of hurtful words, either intentional or unintentional.  How easily we forget the power of words.

God takes words seriously.  His word tell us countless times over of the power of words both carelessly spoken and aptly spoken.

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.
Matthew 15:18

Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.
Proverbs 11:12

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. 
Colossians 4:6

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

Please keep in mind that I do not write these words as an act of condemnation toward anyone. How many times have I forgotten the power of words in my daily journeys? Too many to count, I'm sorry to say. I am not using this blog as an opportunity to give anyone a smack down. It is more of a reminder of what God has been reminding me of, through the people I have been ministering to over the past few weeks.

Let him without sin cast the first stone......I will be stepping to the back of that line.

Close your eyes for a moment and think of a time in your life when someone said something to you that filled your emotional sails with joy and in turn set you on a wonderful voyage. You can remember that person. You can remember that time. It may not have been anything that would be considered earth shattering or awesome to someone else, but the words were apples of gold in a setting of silver to your heart and mind. They were words aptly spoken that made you feel loved, accomplished, valued, important......you know how those words made you feel.

Now, think of a time in your life when someone said something cruel and heartless to you, either intentionally or even unintentionally. You remember those words, they seared an unforgettable burden of pain into your heart and mind. They brought forth not only accusation, but also the guilt and shame you were carrying at the time. Those words made you feel worthless, unlovable, unimportant.....you know how those words made you feel.

In both instances the words had power.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Proverbs 18:21



Death and life are in the power of the tongue. We've all experienced it, both on the giving and receiving ends. We do not regularly recognize the power of our tongues to do good, by speaking good words, but we do fully realize the power and capability of our tongues to rip into someone and tear them to shreds. It seems that has become much easier with the induction of social media. How easy it is to sit behind a computer screen and annihilate another individual. They cannot defend themselves. You don't have to hear their side of the story. (Remember there are always two sides.). You don't have to see their eyes rolling. You don't have to yell over them yelling at you. You don't have to carry the guilt from seeing the pain of your words instantly register on the face of another human being. To me it seems a form of cowardice. If it isn't something you are willing to say to another person's face then perhaps it is something that shouldn't be said at all.

My all time favorite of course (not really) is the post or tweet that indicates a wrong done, but does not name the guilty party. (Pause: I am very sorry to say that on occasion I have been guilty of this one.....recently too. I'm not proud of this admission at all. Hind sight has always made me realize that if I have something to say to someone who has hurt me I need to do it face to face. Matthew 18:15). However, the guilty party inevitably will be able to figure out if it is him/her. They generally know the intimate details of the situation enough to garner the 'set down' they are receiving in the public forum. 

Let me pose this question  Do you think that God judges differently words conveyed to another via text, tweet or status vs. those spoken in person, on the phone or voice mail?

I think it is safe to conclude that the words we type, tweet, or text still fall under the same realm of holy judgment as those we speak.

Matthew 12:27 says, For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.

It doesn't say whether those words are spoken or typewritten. I think it is safe to assume they all count. It doesn't matter if they are on a bathroom wall, a boxcar, a subway train, the underpass of a bridge or Twitter. In God's eyes they count.

God's word is shared in the timeless medium of the page. Does it really matter if the page is a tablet of stone, a piece of paper or an electronic screen- His words or ours?

Moreover, as Christians we are held to a higher calling and expectation in both our words and behavior. Your demonstration of Christ's love whether in person or via social media is visible to the world. Can the people you live life with and share life with on social media see the evidence of Christ in you?

Today, I share with you a few rules and regulations I follow to the best of my ability when sharing my life on social media. I have shared them with my children, I have shared them with my friends, I have shared them in the counseling office. This is not a definitive list. This is my list. You may need to lay down a different set of rules for yourself, but you get the idea. Decide in advance how you are going to behave on social media and stick with it. God's kingdom depends on it.

1. Follow Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

2. Consider your audience.  Who are you friends with, following, etc? Is something you are planning on posting a word of encouragement or discouragement? Will it build the person up or tear them down? Recently, I had two very dear friends encounter a very difficult social media situation. One shared a post she felt was very important. However, the same post caused great pain to another friend who thought it was posted as an intentional dig. It wasn't, but none the less it ended up being a most painful situation for both of my friends. In no way was the original post an intentional slight, but I could see how it could be mistaken as such, and in hindsight so could my friend who shared the post. She was heartbroken that she hurt her friend.  It wasn't intentional, but we all learned from that situation how important it is to consider your audience.- I know. I know.  Just stick with me on this one. I'm sure some are thinking, "If they can't handle it then they shouldn't be on social media."  I can most assuredly say that is the wrong attitude and perhaps you need to rethink your motives. Remember the whole love your neighbor as yourself thing? The internet has broadened our scope of neighbors. How do you want your neighbor on social media to love you? Love them the same.

3. If you plan on posting something controversial, be prepared to face the consequences, take the heat, get a smack down, eat crow, be humiliated, proven wrong, feel foolish, get chewed out, etc. Then when it happens be prepared to respond with the love of Christ. You asked for it. You got it. Now you'll have to deal with it. Are you responding as Jesus would want you to? Is your response God honoring?

4. If you aren't sure you should post it, then you better not do it. As a Christian I try and make every effort to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Let's get real here for a moment. You know when the words are typed in the little box and the cursor is blinking at you and you are just sitting there deciding whether or not to hit the post button, and you sense a little niggling in the back of your mind or an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach, then perhaps you should reconsider hitting the post button. I'm positive most of us know that feeling. Chances are if you feel this way, it is a clear indicator that whatever you are considering posting is not edifying. Now would be a good time to refer back to number 1. Follow Ephesians 4:29. 

Again, let me reiterate that this post is not a set down for anyone. It is a reminder to all of us that our witness transcends to the electronic pages in our lives as well. Every facet of our Christian thought, deed and word should reflect the love and compassion of our Lord and Savior. Those who are yet to be found are counting on us, even if they don't realize it. Let's show them who Jesus really is on social media by how we love each other.


But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. James 1:22-27

Putting You Where He Wants You

This past Monday I returned from a children's ministry conference in Columbus, Ohio. The first thing I need to confess is that I didn't really want to go to said conference. I know, I know. It's an opportunity to learn more about what I am doing. I know how important this is. I signed up for it, after all. I knew I needed it. I was feeling very weary in my ministry, just as the year was kicking off. That is not a good time to feel weary and worn down.

There was so much going on at home. I really didn't feel good about leaving. I just put my youngest son Alex in public school after being privately educated and homeschooled most of his life. My daughter Annie just started a new job as a barista at a nearby hospital coffee shop, and my son Ryan, who daily battles the difficulties of Asperger's Syndrome started a new job working in the local high school cafeteria. Everyone was in the middle of big changes and adjustments. It didn't feel right to bail on them just now. Church was another story. Not a bad story, mind you, just a little chaotic right now. I just finished meeting with three groups of wonderful, dedicated volunteers, sharing with them the new child safety policy. I still haven't caught all of my volunteers yet. So a fourth meeting is on the way.  We added a new children's ministry wall in our fellowship hall. The wall was designed to provide a more child friendly children's area. There really isn't a children's ministry area in our church. One of my children's pastor friends suggested we ask for a wall since we don't have a room. We now have an awesome wall and a quarter, thanks to some of those amazing and talented volunteer children's ministry workers! We finished our BIG EVENT Fab Friday kick off the previous week- complete with monster mud trucks. In the middle of this I am working with my district children's ministry team to bring in FX (kind of like the Christian version of Nicolodeon, with slime and big props) to Western New York. I've never done anything like this before, so it is a bit daunting to say the least. To that we add the regular responsibilities of being a pastor, weekly children's ministry, counseling, and prepping for the upcoming months. I can see clearly now why I was weary. I needed to get away. I needed to refocus. I needed what I didn't want to do.

Have you ever noticed how God has a way of putting you right where he wants you when he wants you there? Yeah, he does that. As much as I knew I didn't want to go to the conference and the countless reasons I could have chosen to bail, God impressed on me clearly that I needed to be there.

So I went.  I took Jennifer with me. As you know from my previous post about Jennifer that everything is more of an adventure with Jennifer. And it was!

Jennifer @ the conference. Jennifer loves the @ sign. It seems to keep her grounded so she knows where she is @. You can imagine how happy she was to find a whole wall of @ signs! I'm thinking we need to do this in her house!



Now I won't bore you with all of the details you aren't interested in, but I will tell you how powerful God can press down on you when he wants you be somewhere. This conference was a huge conference. There were about a zillion classes and tracks you can choose from. (Well, maybe not a zillion, but it sure felt like it.) Name just about any topic from nursery to pre-teen and you will find something you need. So I chose a workshop with a speaker I am familiar with, I'd been to her workshops before. She was fun. She was engaging. The topic was fun and I was feeling tired. I knew I would need something to keep me awake. I went to her workshop about 15 minutes early and found a prime seat right up front. I like being upfront. I pay better attention and I'm less likely to doze. As I was getting myself situated I felt a very powerful "nudge" from the Holy Spirit. I wasn't supposed to be there in that workshop. There was no denying the nudge. It was powerful. So I got up and walked out of the room. This was probably one of the first times I've ever immediately acted on a leading from God without a "Why?". My only question was, "Where?". Remember there were a zillion classes to chose from. I had no clue where he wanted me. I made my way out of the door and down the hall, as I was walking along a class that had briefly caught my attention a week earlier when I was looking through the program was right in front of me. It was a full track leadership workshop.  Full track meaning that once you start you are in it for the long haul. I've done leadership in school, in pastors meetings, at the nearby Christian college. I just finished reading a book on leadership. I really didn't feel that was something that I really needed at this point, but my feet kept on going that way and into the room I went. Again I found prime seating upfront so that I would stay engaged and maybe learn something, even though I was sure I'd had enough leadership training to last me quite a while. Despite the topic I had a peace about me. I somehow knew I was in the place that God wanted me to be.

The workshop was AWESOME! It was just what I needed. I was engrossed from the first moment and when the first two hours were up I was so sorry to see it end. I couldn't wait to come back after lunch for another two hours of this stuff! I couldn't wait for the conference to start the next day so I could continue learning more in this class.

Steve Adams, Alex's Lego guys, and me. 
Steve is the children's pastor for all of the Saddleback Church's Children's Ministries. He's all over the place!
And I thought I was weary.....ppppfffffttttt!





In the midst of this I came to realize how poor my attitude had been. I was inwardly ashamed of myself. I had forgotten how blessed I am on so many levels to be able to do the ministry I do. I get to work in a great church, with a fantastic boss. (That was something else I learned while I was there. I work with a great senior pastor!) The ministry is growing and flourishing. God is making it fruitful.


Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Galatians 6:9

We all become weary from time to time. It is part of the human condition. When we get weary, our attitudes tend to slip. My attitude toward this blessing in the form of a children's ministry conference was lousy.  It's okay to get tired once in a while. However, when you start feeling  your batteries depleting take it seriously. One of the topics in this conference was about making sure your batteries get charged regularly. For me recharging is going to be making sure I take time out every year to attend a conference. It's going to be keeping in contact with the other awesome children's pastors I am privileged to work with in my district. It means a DAWG- Day Alone With God! Just so I can be quiet and hear from him.

God has blessed each of us in so many ways. Daily we have his word speaking to our hearts and minds. He provides us with church families, and friends who can help us when we are down. We have learning opportunities in the form of classes, conference, or just daily life. It is up to us to take advantage of these blessings in our lives so that we will not become weary in doing good.

So now I am back! My batteries are recharged and I ready to take on whatever the kids have for me this year! God is good. He is there! I get to keep on keeping on toward the harvest and I'm excited about it!!

Been Way Tooooo Long

I'm back! Finally. It has been a hectic few months. We started out the New Year with sick kids. Our yearly winter vacation consisted of two sick kids, one sick aunt and one healthy guest. (The nieces and brother were all good. They were sick before we got there.) After weeks of recovery, Alex got sick....again-pneumonia. Then my wonderful, awesome niece Matty had emergency surgery for an ovarian cyst. Then my husband was admitted to the hospital for bilateral pneumonia. Then my darling baby girl and I contracted a nasty bronchitis that seemed to last forever. Then my "NICE" goddaughter Brianna was admitted to Children's in Buffalo for a rather serious infection.  However, the good news is, as of today, every one is home and all seem to be in good health. I hope I don't prove myself wrong before the day is over. Annie was looking a little peeked after church today.

So, as for any life changing deep thoughts; I haven't had any time to have any, unless of course you ask Ashley about tissues and decongestants. Or you can ask Jennifer about repainting her shed. That pretty much sums up the depth of my thought processes over the past few months. I feel like I have only been getting by.

I can say that I know the source of the strength that was getting me by. It was the same strength I saw when my kids endured one of the most awful vacations of all time, while vomiting for 16 hours in the car. I saw that strength when my dear, Matty and her parents had to face serious emergency surgery in the middle of the night. It was the same strength I saw exhibited in my husband as he admitted outpatient defeat and was sent to the hospital for treatment for a week. I don't know how he could stand the steroids he had to take! He did though, without complaint. And again I witnessed it this week as my dear friend Barb, took her baby girl to the emergency room for tests and ended up with an ambulance ride to Children's Hospital, in the middle of the night, so far from home. I have to say this, and I don't mean this in a condescending manner in any way, but I am so proud of Barb. I saw her take huge steps in her faith this past week and it gave me joy, despite the sadness, to see her choose to lean fully on her Savior during a most trying time. She did things this week that I'm sure she didn't know she was capable of doing. She hung onto God with both hands and he sustained her and Brianna.

People have two choices when they encounter hardship.
1. Be angry and blame God
2. Have faith and trust God

So often people will choose to be angry and alienate themselves from God during the difficult seasons of their lives. For some it is easier to be angry and place blame than to have faith and trust in God, even when things aren't working out your way. Faith isn't easy, but I assure it is best. I've been there wanting to scream at God and ask him, what he was doing. It's okay to tell him how you feel. He already knows anyway. Talk to him. He wants to hear from you. It is a great exercise in strengthening your faith....remembering he is there and that you can talk to him.

This week's Bible memory verse for children's church is Isaiah 41:13. It's a good one for all of us!

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says, do not fear. I will help you."

Those are his words. Not mine. You can depend on them.

The bravest baby ever!