Forgiveness vs. "Forgetness"



Forgiveness vs. Forgetness
I realize that forgetness is not a real word, but it has been a word in my vocabulary for many years. Like most people I have experienced some very significant hurts in my lifetime and like most people there have been times when I have struggled to forgive those who have hurt me. After my last blog you will realize that I tend to fall on the side of forgiving more, rather than less. Thought it is not easy to forgive, I think it is even more difficult to forget. (Can I get an "Amen" to that?)

I find there are two questions that run through my mind when I am dealing with forgetness.
1. Am I supposed to forget what happened?
2. If I am supposed to forget what happened, how do I do that?

Well, to our relief the Bible does offer some counsel on this subject. Really it does.

Question 1
"Am I supposed to forget what happened?"

Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves.  Matthew 10:16

What do we know about the relationship between sheep and wolves? It's pretty simple. Wolves think sheep are tasty. It would behoove (he, he, he behoove) us as sheep to walk into the world prepared. Part of that preparation is learning from the past. If we have been hurt, naturally we will remember. By no means should we hold a grudge, but by all means we should learn from our past and apply what we have learned to our future. We should be as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves.  Wisely learn from your past. Wisely apply it to your future.

Question2
"If I am supposed to forget what happened,  how do I do that?"

Okay, this is the part where you have some control of what you forget. Perhaps forgetting here isn't so much a one time deal, but an ongoing choice.

Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.  Philippians 4:8

Forgetness is a choice. Yep. It is a choice. What do you spend your time thinking on? Is it true? Is it honorable? Is it right? Is it pure? Is it lovely or of good repute? Is it excellent or praise worthy?

This is probably the area which I have struggled the most. I struggled so much, I thought maybe I didn't really forgive. In my head I would know that I forgave. I know I offered forgiveness. I know  when I gave the forgiveness the burden was lifted from my life. I felt it. I would later become so disappointed with myself. Why did the memories plague me? Why couldn't I forget? See Philippians 4:8. I can almost guarantee if you are struggling with forgetting the past and moving on with the future you are not applying Philippians 4:8.

Satan will try to replay those terrible memories over and over in your mind. It is up to you, with God's Holy Spirit power to "take every thought captive" (2 Corinthians10:5b).  It is not easy to do, but it is not impossible. Start praying as soon as the negative thoughts and memories start to surface. Give them to God and ask for His strength to choose your thoughts, using Philippians 4:8 as your guide for what to dwell upon. Do not dwell on the unchangeable past. Dwell on what is excellent and praise worthy.

Many times the forgiveness comes easier than the forgetness. It is my prayer that if you steep yourself in the promises of God that you will be able to truly experience the forgetness you need to live a life free painful past memories.